Friendship between spouses is the secret of success in married life
Marriage is exposed to many problems and troubles often and often in the early years, due to the different temperaments and characteristics between the two partners and their inability to understand and assimilate each other, which makes the task of building a happy home one of the most difficult tasks they face. Marriage relations experts confirm that friendship between spouses is one of the basics of a successful life.
“The whole family” raised a number of questions to the experts of marital and family relations and asked the professors of psychiatry and marital therapy about the concept of friendship between spouses, and what is the importance of that friendship in building a healthy and sound relationship between spouses:
? The importance of friendship between spouses
In the beginning, Dr. Bassem Soliman, a consultant psychiatrist at the Faculty of Medicine, Alexandria University and a member of the Egyptian Psychiatric Association in Cairo, confirms that friendship between spouses is one of the most important pillars of achieving family stability because it creates an environment suitable for coexistence and makes each party a bond, aid and refuge for the other.
He says, “Friendship between spouses does not come without understanding and agreement on the basics of life and the approach it follows. Friendship helps the growth of love, and without it, calm and happiness between spouses will not continue . We always advise strengthening the bonds of friendship between spouses, especially at the beginning of marriage because of its great impact on building a successful marriage relationship that does not have serious differences.
But Dr. Bassem Suleiman believes that the spouses should understand the correct meaning of friendship between spouses, as it does not cancel out or diminish respect. There is a great necessity for the husband to respect his wife and to exchange respect for him with greater respect, especially in front of the children, so that this is a practical lesson for them in the meaning of married life and respect for the opinion of the other. Friendship does not remove the barrier of literature.
When husbands and wives are friends in the first place, you find that many types of problems decrease between them. Friendship urges both spouses to support the other, bear him, be kind to him, and seek excuses for him. It also makes the husband feel his wife, contains her weakness and femininity, patient in front of her emotions in emergency health turns such as Menstruation, childbirth and pregnancy, estimating their hormonal disorders and moods, and absorbing their pain and sorrows.
The consultant psychiatrist stresses that the burdens of life that the two parties face, their requirements and concerns require a loving wife full of tenderness, and the man in particular does not need a wife only to change his social status with her, but he always needs a friend, lover and life partner.
Friendship between spouses eliminates marital silence
As for Dr. Naglaa Nabil, marital and family relations consultant and human development expert, she also confirms that the absence of friendship between spouses is the most important reason for the exacerbation of marital disputes , which leads the spouses to a dead end. A married life without friendship suffers from marital boredom after years of marriage and perhaps Months or days, which may end between them in the occurrence of a divorce without a reason, the absence of friendship and the presence of boredom makes them do not compromise or accept any situation.
The family counselor believes that one of the most common things that happen between spouses immediately after marriage or after several months is the loss of the friendship relationship that used to distinguish them before marriage and perhaps also before the engagement, but after marriage the wife and husband are preoccupied with each other in different interests and the conversation between them is limited to material problems and children’s problems and requests. Undoubtedly, the lack of understanding and the lack of dialogue language leads to more problems between them, so one ignores the other to avoid problems.
She added, "Sometimes work pressures, financial burdens and housework are reflected on the spouses and affect the relationship between them and become one of the most common causes of marital boredom and routine ."
The consultant psychiatrist advises the couple to choose from the beginning their likes and those with whom they find an equal language of dialogue, and that each party discovers its owner, how he thinks and what his level of thinking and interests are before marriage, and she stresses, “After marriage, dialogue and friendship will be the entrance to understanding and eliminating boredom and apathy between the spouses, and it will be a disaster. If the dialogue is one-sided only.
? What are the foundations of successful friendship between spouses
For her part, Dr. Mona Ahmed Al-Busaili, a consultant in psychiatry, behavior modification and family counseling in Cairo, stresses that happy marriages are built on strong friendship, and she explains, “I always stress the importance of the presence of a friendly husband in his wife’s life to protect her and increase her awareness of the concerns she is exposed to.”
The family therapy consultant pointed out that the friendship between the spouses must be solid from the beginning and follow the same vein so that cracks and cracks do not occur between them, and in order for the relationship to start strong and warm and for the medical feelings to continue between them, each of them must know his duties and try from the first moment of their joint life to perform them. To the fullest extent before the other party asks for the rights due to him.
She adds, “Most of the marital disputes are due to one of the spouses neglecting the duties imposed on him, either as a result of ignorance or stubbornness. One of the foundations for the success and continuation of friendship between spouses is the support of each party to the other, its tolerance for it, and the seeking of excuses for it. Unfortunately, some people make mistakes about the importance of having even a small amount of friendship between a husband and his wife, and for them to treat each other as friends.. respecting each other and revealing all their secrets, taking into account the privacy of each party and what they would like to keep for themselves, because this helps in planting more trust between them and containing them. Each party to the other in a time of crisis.
The stages of friendship between spouses
Dr. Amr Shaleil, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Mansoura University, points to the importance of friendship between spouses and considers it the magic key to happiness and ensuring a stable and successful relationship most of the time because the marital relationship based on friendship does not let matters between spouses fall within the scope of marital boredom and painful routine, but rather makes life It is easy and can be adapted to because both parties tell each other everything they are going through.
He says, “A friendly couple has the ability to understand each other’s point of view and ideas, provide assistance to each other and alleviate the problems they encounter. Each party accepts the other with its negatives and positives, in addition to the presence of passion and intimacy between them, which represents an additional dimension that deepens the relationship between them because no one else can.” outside the framework of marriage to present it, and this is what distinguishes the relationship between the spouses and makes them more close, loving and deep.”
The professor of psychiatry confirms that the friendship between the spouses breaks the barrier of fear of the other and leads to frankness, which distances the differences from them.
Pointing out that the friendship between spouses goes through different stages from the beginning of the engagement until marriage, at first it is strong, but gradually weakens with the responsibilities of the home and children, but this does not mean the disappearance of friendship and understanding. If friendship exists from the beginning, understanding and frankness remain.
Dr. Amr Shaleil warns some against believing that friendship between spouses means a breach of privacy between them without limits, “but in fact, every person has deep feelings that he does not want anyone to know, moments of contemplation that no one shares with him, opinions and perceptions that he will not be able to reveal to anyone and legitimate details.” It cannot be disclosed to anyone.”
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