An AI needs to suffer pain and self-loathing to master writing
Singer Rachel Bloom gave this view in the context of a conversation about grief, shame, and cancel culture
Rachel Bloom is sitting on her patio one semi-sunny morning in Los Angeles. At the same time the day before, she was participating in a sit-in. The Golden Globe award-winning star and author of the televised musical comedy series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is considered one of the most prominent celebrities who support the Writers Guild of America in its strike for book rights in light of the rapid technological development . On Instagram, she posts a photo of herself frowning and holding a sign that reads, "I asked the AI to write this sign and instead it told me to leave my wife?!".
For now, Bloom isn't worried about the "automated" texts generated by AI. According to her, "Currently, programs like ChatGPT have a lot of vulgarity in them, right? Programs will become good writers after experiencing the pain and trauma of self-loathing because that is part of the writing process."
The use of artificial intelligence has become one of the most drawn-out demands of the Writers Guild of America strike, but the Film and Television Producers Alliance currently refuses to discuss the item. Bloom points out that officials are a source of concern for her. She explains, “If you don’t have artistic ambition but rather say to yourself, ‘All I want is a script written in an automated but acceptable format’, that is very scary. Artificial intelligence has not yet reached the ability to draw its own conclusions according to what writers do yet, but it may become be able to do so soon."
For Bloom, one thing has always been clear: "Writing is feeling." In the "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" musical comedy series, the 36-year-old woman used her own struggles with depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder to address complex issues with many subtleties related to mental health. And when she speaks, she speaks in the tone of a woman who is confident in her convictions, a woman who has undergone a long psychological treatment. She wears a plain black crop top and wears her hair neatly, then is forced to leave the yard after a severe bout of sneezing caused by seasonal allergies, or hay fever. "It was unbelievable," she says. She peeks herself into the camera and comments, "I look shit. Anyway."
Her comment reflects a change in priorities, not a deep mistrust. And after becoming a mother to a three-year-old daughter with husband and fellow television writer Dan Gregor, Bloom learned to relax, especially in interviews like the one I give her. Bloom shrugs and adds, "One of the things that come with having a baby is that I have someone in my life who really doesn't care what I do and loves me anyway. It involves a lot of depersonalization and a big view."
Thus, the realistic view rears its head again. Once, a therapist told her that in the matter of art, one should speak openly and exclusively about "the feelings you've dealt with, the traumas you've faced." Yet there is a sense of uncertainty in her new live performance, "Oh Death, Let Me Finish My Show," in which Bloom delves into a theme she "I never thought I'd deal with or talk about," grief.
An AI needs to suffer pain and self-loathing to master writing
Death touched Bloom's life in March 2020. Several weeks after the pandemic began, the comedian gave birth to her daughter, who spent her early days in the neonatal intensive care unit. A week later, COVID-19 led to the death of Adam Schlesinger, Bloom's co-writer on "Crazy Ex" and guitarist for Fountains of Wayne. She still can't believe the amount of pain she went through, even three years after that accident. "I was overwhelmed with feelings that I had never experienced before. I feel like I studied the issue of mental health a lot because it haunted me for a large period of my life and formed my way of understanding myself, but the idea of "Grief and loss are new to me. I'm not an expert on grief. I just experienced it."
On stage, Bloom deals with grief in the same way she portrays mental health: with realism and empathy. In "Crazy Ex," Bloom's protagonist, Rebecca, imagines her life through a series of zany musical segments that poke fun at everything from songwriter Springsteen to the hit movie La La Land (it turns out that These scenes are a side effect of Rebecca's severe personality disorder.) While fans come mainly to hear the songs, they may also be drawn to the frank discussion of mental health issues and the development of a strong personality. Viewers were few but overzealous, and Bloom often joked that "Crazy Ex" is a show that only gets a handful of viewers, but it runs for four seasons.
In a glimpse of her background, it is indicated that Bloom is the daughter of a lawyer father and a musician mother, and they lived in Los Angeles. She describes herself as an "eccentric" and obsessed with theatre. She saw herself in the female characters from her favorite musicals Into the Woods, Guys and Dolls, and Annie Get Your Gun, and in their great passions. In her words, "We all like to think we're special, but the feelings, the fears we have, the experiences we go through, they're all other people's experiences too. You're not that special. In fact, it's a relief for me."
After graduating from high school, Bloom moved to New York to enroll in New York University's prestigious TISH Drama Program. Musical theater remained her first love ("I kept listening to show tunes until twenty-two, actually," she admits, with a guilty look on her face), but she soon developed a passion for sketch comedy. She learned to mix the two. After graduation, Well-crafted comedic music videos have been posted on YouTube for songs including "F*** Me, Ray Bradbury" and "I Steal Pets". Science fiction literature , with its works including several cultural and political dimensions].
Bloom (second from right) performs "My Vulgar Sexual Stuff" (Netflix)
The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend builds on Bloom's potential in musical comedy, a skill well-suited to Saturday Night Live-type programming. Although Bloom didn't make it to her audition for the show when she was in her twenties, she trained there with Seth Meyers. This is an experience that "revealed the truth" about how the program works and the "make-it-or-break" environment it fosters. She recalls how shocked she was by the behind-the-scenes situation at the time, which involved "strange and unhealthy" scenarios such as writers working until 3 or 4 in the morning. She recalls, "I thought, 'How do you make good material out of this? ' They write until very late. I've met people who've worked on 'Saturday Night Live', and I get the feeling from them that it's extreme, it's a hit or miss." Complete. You either thrive there, or you walk away a year later in trauma. It doesn't seem like there is an in-between."
As an author and performer of her own productions, Bloom takes pride in her comedy creation, particularly the show "Crazy Ex". In April 2017, during the height of the show's success, she found herself at the center of the storm, and struggled to defend her comedy. Bloom participated in an episode of a new science TV show presented by "Netflix" titled "Bill Nye Saves the World." Bill Nye Saves the World, and performed a song called "My Sexual Stuff", which deals with the spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities. Before I spoke to Bloom, I re-watched that song on YouTube. It seems to me that the singing is a bit breathless and the dancing is a bit off the beat. The performance on that song doesn't quite measure up to the performance on "Crazy Ex", but it's not bad. Not bad at all.
However, when right-wing commentators saw the song, they went crazy. Bloom received a torrent of hate mail, from people confusing the insecure performance with the song's message of accepting diversity, and attacking Bloom on both counts. When I mention that video to her, Bloom pauses for a moment and collects her thoughts. It's clearly a subject she's talked about a lot, whether with her therapist, husband or friends, but rarely in public. She chooses her first words carefully. "I'm not fazed about it. It's an experience I'm still ashamed of." truly? She nods. "I remember the first day I felt this negative reaction. It completely surprised me and how ashamed it was. Honestly, it's the most shameful experience of all my life so far."
"It's very funny," Bloom adds, though I don't think she's using the word funny in the sense of fun. "You brought this up, and it still feels like a very painful experience." Lee describes the path she took The Story she started as a favor to a friend, but didn't write the song herself. She didn't have much time to practice the dance, so she was forced to perform a difficult pop song live on air. She likens it to Ariana DeBose's famous rap segment at the BAFTA Awards, stating that "Angela Bassett did the same thing I did [in my vulgar sexual stuff]", but the difference between Bloom's musical gag and what What DeBose did was embodied in the message of Bloom's song, "My Sexual Stuff" promoted progressive ideas about gender and sexual orientation. The right has attacked her for it.
As Rebecca Bunch in "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" (The Independent/Robert Fouts)
And she affirms that she "does not regret participating in an episode dealing with gender and sexual orientation, and it is even amazing, but the topic is related to your feeling ashamed of something, and your feeling that you will not defend it." In the aftermath of the backlash, Bloom read Jon Ronson's book So You've Been Publicly Shamed, which deals with cyberbullying. She explains, "Now when the right yells at 'cancellation culture ' (with a clear look of resentment), I say 'No, no, no, you started the cancellation culture'. No doubt about it. Never. Fuck you."
Ultimately, "My Sexual Stuff" changed Bloom's life. According to her words, “I realized after that experience, and I may be unfair to myself with this pressure I impose on her, but if I ever decide to make any show that carries a political position, it must be ideal. Not for their sake, but for me. And so, when they inevitably strive To embarrass me and target me, I know I gave my best. I know this is something I can fully defend." She compares the topic to a story about abortion that appeared on the show "Crazy Ex". The right hated that story, but notes that it was "in control, very convincing. I scrutinized every sentence. I had no shame in that story."
In a related development, Bloom has made some attempts at political satire during her career. In her opinion, “I have mixed feelings on this subject. At a certain moment it's not like you're preaching to a Christian, like you're saying 'Fuck Trump' and liberals are shouting 'Yeah!' Who benefits from this issue?
Ultimately, Bloom really wants to help, and empathy is the 'way' she sees life. When you talk about the Writers Guild of America strike, and the diminishing role of the writing sector for television, you think of "low and middle grade writers." "I feel that the strike is for them, and for the writing profession in general," she added. Bloom herself has been affected as well, as she is now grappling with getting her start on the Difficult Second TV Project. She tells me that two projects she was developing (a sitcom pilot with executive producer of "Crazy Ex" Aline Brosh McKenna for Hulu, and a sitcom of her own) were rejected by two different stations during the same week.
"I was very happy with myself. I thought, 'I'm going to sell (the two shows),'" Bloom said. "Two TV shows of my own will be shown." Initially, Hulu Productions was "very excited" about the show it worked on with McKenna, but over the course of a year developing it, Blum says she has seen a change in the industry. "I think everyone is confused because the topic is governed to a large extent by numbers and algorithms , and unlike the Nielsen ratings (of American TV programmes), which are public, broadcast services do not tell us their numbers."
And so, then, Bloom is sitting at home. You don't have a show to work on. Even if she was currently working, she would participate in the strike forcefully. I tell Bloom that I think her fans would be shocked to know that no one is taking her shows. You laugh, at the situation and at my suggestion that it is both surprising, it seems. In her words, "I don't know where I am right now. I haven't sold anything on Netflix. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is on Netflix, that's where it belongs. Aline and I have a plot, and we're still trying to sell it. Hulu turned it down, but we We're still trying to sell it and you might think that Netflix must be the answer.” Then she shakes her head and adds, “No. Is it because of some algorithm? I don't know.”
And by extension, that experience was "similar to the blow that teaches humility," according to her. "My mind is very confused about where I am at the moment." For four years, the comforting and all-encompassing world of "Crazy Ex" defined her experiences with the television business, but now, harsh reality has fueled her feelings. In her words, “Right now, I feel this way a lot,” as she points her finger at the exact moment. "That includes feeling how much the industry has changed, and really taking into account what other people are saying. It gave me a broader perspective," Bloom adds. Those words bear the hallmark of changing perspectives, as they have the power to effect change.
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