? It's A Teenage Crisis! What To Do With My Son Now
Adolescence Crisis: You have read (or have not) many books in which the author explains to you that many parents wake up one day to discover that their “child has been switched” for a phenomenon called “adolescent”.
This appears relatively as follows:
The boy stays on the sofa most of the time
He hardly talks to you
He gets angry and revolts against you for the most trivial reason
He slams doors, shouts, accuses you of spoiling his life, insults you, etc....
When reading these books (or not), and in debating with friends or colleagues, you said in secret: “Ah! But I have not. We have an excellent relationship. I understand him and he trusts me and tells me his secrets. I won't have any problem.”
Suddenly, one day, it comes down on you like a thunderbolt!!
The hurricane has arrived at your house. Since he is uninvited and unwelcome, you do not know how to receive him because he has settled down and seems comfortable in his situation and does not want to leave.
It's a teenage crisis !
You feel afraid and helpless. You don't understand what's going on: everything was fine. But this was the case before!
You ask yourself questions such as:
But what have we done to deserve/to provoke this? The answer is: Nothing or you did not do what is worth mentioning. The rest of the answer is: This is normal.
Like most parents, you (or not) ask:
? what are we going to do now
I wish I could tell you: “Don't worry, this stage will pass by itself.” It's just a teenage crisis. But I did not say this to myself when this phenomenon befell our house. Therefore, I do not logically wish to say this to you. I do not wish to encourage you to deprive yourselves of this wonderful relationship you have with your son, “while this stage passes.”
Transition from childhood to adulthood
Your child needs you in adolescence more than at any other stage in his life. Unfortunately, this is the stage at which you find it unbearable. In fact, you sometimes feel that you cannot stand him and tell him that.
You are not perfect, which is better because the teenager in your home does not ask you to be perfect even if he sometimes blames you for it. He asks you, without knowing it, to help him cross the river between childhood and adulthood. This river is deep and whirlpools abound.
Your child must build a boat to cross on his own, and without you. But he does not know how to build a boat, he does not know how to row with the current, and he does not know how to land on the other bank, even if he insists that the opposite be announced as soon as you try to give him any advice.
Your child spends a large part of his time and energy in rowing upstream in order to see, to prove to you and to prove to himself that he can succeed without you.
This behavior tires him and consumes your kindness and affection.
Your child tells you (or screams) that you should let him act on his own. But, from the intensity of his panic, he feels that no one understands him and that you are abandoning him.
? It's not easy
This article does not offer practical tips or tricks in the literal sense, but it does teach you that you are not alone in this special journey of life, even if there are few who talk about the subject in a dramatic way.
There are solutions for parents and children alike, to avoid severe torments. And this search for solutions is what I suggest to you in this blog.
I will mention here a short dialogue with my youngest son who came to ask me why I cry, a dialogue that gave me a lot of hope:
"I'm tired. Perhaps I am overly concerned about unimportant things… like your brother, who has become so difficult to deal with these days.”
“But it's not important, Mom. He is in adolescence. He needs to be a little lonely and spend his energy and anger.”
And you, what are you currently living with your teenage son? Feel free to share your experience with us in the comments below.
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