Do Not Pass On To Your Children Your “Fear Of People” So That They Do Not Live As Miserable As You
Strong woman:
Every mom has a list of priorities in her life, even if she doesn't admit it. My mother's priority was “people.” What will people say? How will people think? Don't behave inappropriately in front of people. Don't speak rudely in front of people. They will say my children are rude . There was no problem if people bothered us, if they said things about her children that were not like them, if they took their toys or bullied them. It's okay if we compromise a little, we should be polite to people. Even self-defense was rude.
I grew up and had one thought that I inherited from my mother: “fear of people”.
There is no need to explain how unfathomable it is to please people, and there is no need to describe how disappointed I have been in my professional life, my relationships, and my friendships. I always thought I was the guilty one, that I had to apologize and give people excuses, I thought all the flaws in the universe lay in my character and I took every criticism I heard seriously. I was an easy victim of narcissistic people who derive their confidence and strength from destroying and belittling others. The slightest word would make me fall into an abyss that has no resolution, and isolate myself from people.
Until I became a mother.
I had two options, either to pass the problem on to my children, or to make a great effort to put an end to it. And I chose to put an end to all of this. I put my children at the top of my priority list, and after them let the flood be. I was very strict in this decision.
It takes a lot of effort, I don't have enough self-confidence and courage to face people. It is a matter of years of accumulated silence, which cannot fade in a few days.
And the challenge began, a terrible challenge with oneself. I must have been suffering from social phobia. When someone was criticizing me, I kept silent and had a thousand answers in my head... as if I believed that I did not have the right to respond or defend myself . That was really destroying me from the inside.
And one day I decided.. I will not be polite anymore.. especially when it comes to my children
It had a very positive impact on my life as a whole. And you will not believe how happy our soul is when we search for the satisfaction of ourselves, not the satisfaction of people.
I have never once accepted that someone criticizes my children in a rude way, not once have I accepted that I consider people's feelings at the expense of my children's. I have never asked my children to remain silent about their rights for the sake of anyone, and I will not.
Life is tough enough, I wanted my children to be strong..strong in their kindness, empathy and humility, strong by respecting others and not crossing boundaries, and at the same time strong by deterring any attempt to infringe on their feelings or rights and by countering any attempt to taunt or bully in the finest possible way .
Discipline is not weakness, politeness is not condescension and introversion as they taught us. Discipline does not involve self-repression and succumbing to harm. When it touches our pride, it becomes a lack of politeness against ourselves to remain silent about their transgressions.
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