:Jealousy among children: the most important methods and directions to help the child overcome it
Jealousy is an emotional state mixed with a love of possessiveness and a feeling of anger, and this is due to obstacles accompanied by physiological changes that the child feels, especially when he loses the interests and privileges he was getting.
When a child feels jealousy, he does not disclose or acknowledge this feeling, because he refuses to acknowledge these complex feelings. These pent-up feelings may appear when the family’s interest in a new baby appears, or another child from the family succeeds in school, or prefers other children to him and praises them constantly.
Reasons for jealousy among children
There are reasons for the child’s jealousy, such as the child’s feeling of inferiority in front of other children, such as a lack of his appearance, or his parents’ praise and reproach of other children, or they treat him harshly and sarcastically in front of others without respecting him. Also, the arrival of a new child to the family is one of the things that affects the child's psyche the most, because he feels responsible for everything because he is the big brother.
One of the most important reasons for feeling and developing jealousy in a child is the preference in treatment between some brothers, such as raising the status of males over females. Or the preference of the younger brother over the elder also, the child’s feeling that he is less than his friends, due to the family’s economic circumstances and its income may be low, or the family may be stingy with its children, so jealousy grows within the child because he does not get what he wants and deprives him of some of the things he sees available to his peers.
Manifestations and behaviors of jealousy in children
: aggressive
One of the most important features of a jealous child, where the child resorts to raising his voice to get what he wants and may even hit other children
Introverted
A jealous child sometimes tends to withdraw, remain silent, and stay away from others
Crying, irritability, and intense fear
For example, he may be afraid of going to the bathroom alone, afraid of the dark, going to school, and other [b]things
: change the mood of the child
Which is accompanied by a state of anxiety, lack of sleep, loss of appetite, weight loss, headache and feeling tired, and it may develop into vomiting and intestinal disorders.
Regression and regression to earlier stages
If he is young and cannot express his feelings, he may regress in some of the things he had already learned, such as crawling, thumb sucking again, refusing to eat, and making annoying situations to get his attention. After he has passed this stage, he may return to speaking like children younger than him
Tips and ways to help treat child jealousy, including:
The child must be encouraged and instilled in himself.
It is necessary to avoid punishing the child or comparing him with his friends, and not to show his weakness and helplessness in front of others.
The family must teach him to praise God or be satisfied with everything in his life, because he is distinguished by the blessings of others that he desires, such as I am poor in sight and others are blind.
He must cultivate within him the love of people, the love of helping them, and the love of good for others.
. He must be taught that failure is not the end, but failure may lead you to success
We must encourage him to express himself and his feelings, and to get used to being frank about everything that goes on in his mind and what he sees from his point of view.
Do not show your interest in the newborn in front of him, in order to avoid the child feeling that the good newborn has taken the love of his family from him, and in order to avoid this feeling, you must let him help you in taking care of the child, such as choosing the clothes of the newborn
It must be implanted within the child to stay away from selfishness and self-love, and to learn that he has rights and duties.
. Trying as much as possible to provide all the needs of the child so that he does not feel deprived and inferior
We can prepare our eldest child and prepare him to accept the matter and adapt to it, and even make him happy with the new born in simple steps. Of which:
Consult your older child in choosing a name for the newborn.
Take your older child when buying baby essentials and let him choose with you and buy some of his choices.
Buy a couple of presents for the good-looking baby to exchange with his older sibling in the hospital after birth or when he comes home.
Ask him after birth to help you take care of the newborn, such as bringing you a nappy when he changes or petting him when he cries.
Involve the older child in the affairs of his younger brother as much as he can understand.
Do not forget to cuddle and manipulate your child in the presence of the newborn so that he feels that he is still receiving the same love and attention.
For every mother, take your older child and go out together, for example, to play, to visit one of his friends or relatives, or for a walk, and leave the newborn with his father for an hour or less or while he sleeps, so that the older child feels important to you and that he has his own time with you.
Don't make him feel that you are always busy with him.
How do I deal with my child who is jealous of the new born?
Usually the child gets used to being alone in the house and everyone’s interest in him. It is obvious that he has different feelings when there is a new little one in the same place, including excitement and waiting for what the new child will do, jealousy of him and distress because everyone’s attention has shifted to him. If he is young and cannot express his feelings, he may regress in some of the things he had already learned, such as crawling, thumb sucking again, refusing to eat, and making annoying situations to get attention.
We can prepare our eldest child and prepare him to accept the matter and adapt to it, and even make him happy with the new born in simple steps. Of which:
Consult your older child in choosing a name for the newborn.
Take your older child when buying baby essentials and let him choose with you and buy some of his choices.
Buy a couple of presents for the good-looking baby to exchange with his older sibling in the hospital after birth or when he comes home.
Ask him after birth to help you take care of the newborn, such as bringing you a nappy when he changes or petting him when he cries.
Involve the older child in the affairs of his younger brother as much as he can understand.
Do not forget to cuddle and manipulate your child in the presence of the newborn so that he feels that he is still receiving the same love and attention.
For every mother, take your older child and go out together, for example, to play, to visit one of his friends or relatives, or for a walk, and leave the newborn with his father for an hour or less or while he sleeps, so that the older child feels important to you and that he has his own time with you.
Don't make him feel that you are always busy with him.
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