Do you want a son who obeys you in childhood and does not disobey you in adolescence? Refrain from negative commands:
Welcome to all my dear child’s world visitors. Many parents complain that their child, no matter what they ask of him, does the opposite. Do not open the door, he likes to open it.. Do not hit your brother, you find him hitting him.. Do not waste your supplies in school, easily one of them is lost. Don't raise your voice, you will find him screaming at the top of his voice.. Don't forget something, they simply forget it.. Measure on that everything his color says or asked of him does the opposite, no matter what they tell him not to do, he does it to the extent that they feel as if he means to provoke them and opposes them.
?So why do our children do the opposite of what we ask of them
The answer is because this is the nature of the subconscious mind, it does not know negative commands, it does not deal with negative commands, as many of us know that we all have what is called the conscious mind with which you read these words and which you speak and decide with, and we also have what is called the subconscious mind or the unconscious mind. Conscious, which is what drives us the stores of memory, your feelings, fears and thoughts, and everything you know is stored in the subconscious mind and it does not comprehend negative commands, but on the contrary considers them as non-negotiable orders.
- If I told you not to worry, what would you think? Isn't it worried? In order not to worry, you have to think about worry first, and then reflect on that and think about reassurance, a mental process that is not easy for him.
? But when I tell you: rest assured, what did I think? Isn't it calm
?Why do our children do the opposite of what they are told
Because we say it the wrong way, in a way that stimulates their mind to do what you focus on, if the negative command is "Don't hit your brother", what action is your mind motivated to do? Of course, it is hitting, so you should refrain from using negative commands and learn and practice saying what you want, not what you want.
Say play with your brother calmly and don't say "Don't hit your brother" Say talk softly and don't say "Don't raise your voice" Say remember and don't say "Don't forget" Say keep your toys and don't say "Don't break your toys".
Be positive. You must address the mind in its own way, not in your own way. When you use this method, your children's resistance will decrease and you will find them cooperating with you and simply doing what you want.
The main reasons for returning the error in a child:
Among the reasons why a child repeats the mistake:
In his opinion, he was not mistaken.
His family did not understand the situation.
Punishable with a simple punishment.
The child is accustomed to punishment.
The child is unaware of what is required.
Imposing a fait accompli on his family.
Inconsistency in the use of punishment.
A child's success in provoking an adult.
of solutions:
Explain to him when he is not aware of the error.
Understand the child's motivation to make a mistake.
If you are punished, do not impose a frivolous punishment.
Do not hit or punish your son constantly.
Explain to the child what he did not understand from you.
Don't give in to your child when he pressures you.
Be logical and orderly in your punishments.
Do not respond to your child when he provokes you.
Do you want a son who obeys you in childhood and disobeys you in adolescence?
Most mothers, in their dealings with their children, deal calmly and patiently, convince them of dialogue, be patient when they say (no), and sometimes overlook their shortcomings, and are satisfied with reprimanding and allowing, and the result is that they do not implement everything you ask of them.
- While most fathers are quite the opposite, their treatment differs from mothers, they deal with children severely, violently and cruelly, and whoever delays in implementing what his father asked for, his punishment will be painful, and this is what makes the children afraid of him and rush to implement everything he asks.
Thus, children grow up to obey their fathers more than their mothers, and this usually disturbs mothers a lot..
But As the years pass and children enter the stage of adolescence, their conditions will change in a strange way. We find that their fear of their father decreases significantly, and they become more stubborn and obey him much less than in the past, due to the sensitive stage they are going through, and because the necessary handling needs with this stage should not be harsh, harsh and harsh.
And what we suddenly notice is that the children themselves and in the same sensitive stage, the adolescence period, we find that they suddenly deal with the mother in a calm manner because she continued to treat them calmly, with dialogue and with love, and they began to hear her words and take her opinion more than their father only because this is what they need and they found then.
From here we have to learn that obedience resulting from fear ends with the end of fear, but obedience resulting from love lasts, God willing, as long as love.
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