3Things Parents Should Avoid Saying In Front Of Their Children
Things Parents Should Avoid Saying:
Even if we don't speak directly to our children, we communicate a lot of things to them indirectly. That is why it is necessary to pay attention to what we say and to the way we act when the child is present.
A person's life changes when a new baby enters the house. This generally includes changes in daily habits and behaviour. However, it also affects the way we communicate. Most children tend to imitate the actions and words of their parents. So we must pay great attention to our actions, and we must know what to say and what not to say in front of children.
It is not necessary to go to the other party directly to convey an idea to it.. The same applies to children. Their mere presence makes them able to understand and observe more than we think or expect. Children memorize everything we do and this is what shapes their behavior later on. Thus, we have to avoid certain behaviors and problems until our child is able to understand the situation in which he is involved.
Why should we avoid discussing certain topics in front of our children?
Children explore the world in a very special way when they are young. Children are able to comprehend a lot more than we think, but they do it literally.
In other words, even if they understand a general concept, they don't notice the nuances, phrases or metaphors we might use. For example, if we mention that the neighbor walks like a duck, we should not be surprised if our child imagines that her feet resemble the feet of this animal.
Also, children cannot understand sarcasm, sarcasm, and double meanings. Or we might say things in moments of anger that we later regret. Our children cannot comprehend all these minute details, but rather “imaginate” them.
They also understand more nonverbal language, our body expressions, and remember emotional situations. As a result, children “replace” the details they did not understand with emotional charges.
“We pass on a lot of information to our children without us knowing. This can be a disorienting emotional burden on these youngsters.”
This may cause many problems . We're not just talking about the embarrassment we might face when our kids pass on the gossip, for example. Situations in which a child may feel confused and distracted without understanding the reasons are more troubling.
Illustrative example
Imagine this situation. We quarreled with our parents, and we told this to our partner in order to get rid of the anger controlling us. The child stands in front of us and notices that we are angry with his grandfather or grandmother, whom he loves so much. How will the child feel then? According to his ability to analyze and comprehend, a person gets angry when someone else hurts him or when another person behaves badly with him. So is his grandfather or grandmother bad? How should he deal with them? What will happen next, and
?what should he do
In the same way, we may create this confusion in our child in very different situations. These include marital relations, friendship, school relationships or “adult affairs” that we pass on without knowing to someone who does not know how to deal with such confusing feelings.
We should pay attention to what we say in front of the children, without it preventing us from communicating with them.
What topics should we not discuss with our children?
Here is a list of topics to avoid discussing in front of children:
1- Talking badly about others. This also includes gossip in general. Children cannot understand these private conversations nor our role in them, especially young children. As explained above, the child may feel confused, distracted, and possibly even guilty.
2- The interests of “adults”. Like money, time, and food... We should not allow everything that concerns us to be passed on to our children. When they are older, we can explain these topics to them, but in a simple way so that they can understand and assimilate them.
3- Talking in front of the children as if they are not there. We should not call them nicknames or make comments about how they look or think. Especially if it's negative comments. This may lead to the establishment of psychological problems in the child.
We must also pay attention to the tone and tone of voice we speak, or to the way we address our children. For example, yelling.. Even if we are not yelling at our children, yelling only shocks and frightens the child and makes him or her feel disoriented. We should also avoid lying, because by doing so we will teach them how to escape the truth when they have to.
How do we control what we say?
“Sometimes we can't control ourselves. In this case, the most important thing here is to clarify the situation for the child and reduce his confusion.”
Paying attention to what we say in front of our children does not mean that we stop communicating in their presence. In fact, doing so will affect them very negatively, because they will understand that they are a nuisance, and that you do not want them to be with you. All we have to do is think a bit and imagine ourselves in their place.
A good way to think about what we are going to say before speaking is to act as if they are filming us or recording our speech. Think carefully about your words and the image you reflect in these words. Any behavior that can be linked to it.
In addition, we must wonder if this discussion can create confusion in our children, or if they may feel distracted by it. In other words, they tried to understand how much this discussion affected them.
Finally, it is advisable to use clear and direct language in their presence. At a young age, children do not understand metaphors and puns. If we avoid using these phrases, we've removed a large percentage of the confusing feelings our children might experience.
Unfortunately, we can't always control ourselves. But the most important thing is to explain to our children the context of the event. So that they do not try to analyze things wrongly, or think that we are angry because of them. Or so that they don't feel like they're not what we care about. Explaining the things that confuse them is essential to their development and growth, and strengthens your relationship with them.
https://tarbiazakia.com/136158/2022/06/3-%d8%a3%d9%85%d9%88%d8%b1-%d8%b9%d9%84%d9%89-%d8%a7%d9%84%d8%a3%d9%87%d9%84-%d8%aa%d8%ac%d9%86%d8%a8-%d9%82%d9%88%d9%84%d9%87%d8%a7-%d8%a3%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%85-%d8%a3%d8%b7%d9%81%d8%a7%d9%84%d9%87%d9%85/?fbclid=IwAR0YnLedPJqUra33tWMmrnXdqmvuC8QDxM_-DTufXMO8t_yoQciZLMoe2bI