?How Do You Teach Your Boys To Take Responsibility
Teaching Responsibility
One of the axioms of education is that when parents bear a lot of responsibility, children bear less of it. Why should your son take any responsibility if you are doing everything well? Responsibility, or your ability to take responsibility for your mistakes and successes, to follow through on a task to the end and to do what you promised, is one of the most important components of a good character. It is also one of the traits that many parents fear their children will never learn.
Responsible mother, irresponsible boy
You can help your son with his homework and raise after him because you love him. But when you take charge of his daily needs, what does he learn? Undoubtedly, you would like your son to become a responsible young man, someone who can be counted on, someone who is confident in himself and who keeps his promises. However, overhelping him or failing to teach him accountability will likely encourage him to be irresponsible.
In fact, this type of personality-building and responsibility-building education may not suit you. It is much more fun to give your son what he wants (instead of what he needs) and it is undoubtedly better for you to do the household chores yourself than to give your son room to experiment. Your son will learn responsibility when you give him opportunities to experiment and practice.
Here are some suggestions:
Encourage your son to do everything he can do on his own. Your son may not perform tasks to your standards, but he will learn more when he tries himself than when he watches you. Whereas when you meet his needs right away and don't let him do anything, he will expect you to keep doing it.
Do not push your son to make mistakes. The gentle, firm upbringing and discipline designed to teach him will allow your son to admit his mistakes (and learn from them) without fear or shame.
Let your son test the results of his own choices. It's tempting to save your son when he's in trouble, fails to do something, or is lazy or uncooperative, but that doesn't teach responsibility and character.
Stick to the agreements until the end. Your child will learn trust and accountability when you commit to the end. Treat him with firmness, kindness, and respect, and do what you both agreed to do.
Teach him problem-solving skills. Calm, friendly discussion is often the best way to help your son understand what went wrong and how he might do something different the next time. Teaching your child how to think is more important than teaching him what to think.
Encourage collaboration through family meetings
Collaboration is the ability to work with others, contribute to a common goal and reach a compromise when needed. Instead of giving orders, directing, and expecting, focus on inviting your child to cooperate. He is more likely to cooperate and contribute when you listen to his ideas, invite him to make suggestions, and work with him to develop a plan to get things done.
One way to advocate for collaboration is to hold regular family meetings to offer encouragement and praise, solve problems together and have fun together as a family (family meetings can work when your child is as young as four). Family meetings should not turn into control sessions. Begin each meeting with praise for the things that were done well during the week.
You can put up a diary where everyone can write down the problems that need attention; Then, you can think together of suitable solutions. It's better to work out a compromise than to vote (losers seldom enjoy family get-togethers). You could end the meeting with a snack, a movie, or a family activity. Working together to solve problems teaches children to cooperate and allows them to feel a sense of belonging and importance.
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